Fearing the Reapers
by ivegotitmemorized
Summary: AU- Axel, Zexion, and Demyx group together to form a band of Reapers to rescue children from abusive homes
1. Chapter 1

Axel grinned as he slid open the screen door to the house that seemed so similar to the one he had grown up in. He let out a low whistle to call his troop to order. Zexion immediately dropped the tools he had been using to disarm the house alarm, whereas Demyx fell gracefully from the tree at the edge of the property and rolled to the side before padding softly to meet the two other men.

"Who's this one?" Demyx whispered as he leaned against the door, blocking their entrance. Zexion scowled at him, wishing to draw his concealed weapon to strike him aside. Axel glanced at the silver haired companion; silently reminding him of the "no violence" rule between the group. Act like animals and be treated like animals.

"Roxas and Alex Philander," Axel explained, stepping into the cluttered kitchen just inside the door, "Sam is sixteen, Alex is seventeen. Their father, Mr. David Philander, runs the brothel downtown."

Demyx licked his lips in the anticipation of what he knew would come next. He loved the raids like this, the rush and the feeling of accomplishment that followed. Axel smirked at his enthusiasm and waved Zexion and Demyx inside with him. Demyx went to work at locking the sliding door behind them and gathering the tool kit he had left with Axel to unlock it in the first place, and Zexion went to the largest room where, presumably, the father would sleep. Axel crept up the stairs to the attic, where he knew the children were kept.

_Locked alone in the attic night and day, doesn't that sound familiar? _Axel tried to push the thought out of his mind; relating to the Refugees was always a bad idea, for many of them didn't pass the test in the end. As it was, Axel, Zexion, and Demyx were the only three who were mentally and physically able to complete these missions.

He gently opened the door at the top of the stairs. There was a bed to either side of the small attic, with only about three feet of space between the two. One was simply a yellowed mattress on the peeling floor, and the other, although set upon a wooden bed frame, was only a couple of inches thick with a number of thin blankets stretched under the scrawny body strewn across them. It was a young boy with shaggy blond hair and blotchy skin, wearing nothing but a ratty pair of cotton shorts even though he was shivering with the chill of a New York winter. Axel supposed that the boy had had to choose between comfort and warmth for the night.

On the other bed, a thin girl rolled in her sleep. Her hair was a tangled mess of black and blue, a threadbare t-shirt hanging from her bony shoulders read HOOTERS, and her legs looked as though they would snap if someone so much as brushed them. She was much skinnier than the boy, and the bags under her eyes were nearly as dark as her hair. Like the boy, she had no blanket. She had likely given it to her brother.

Axel approached the boy, Roxas, first. In one swift motion, he drew his index finger across the young boy's forehead and touched his own temple with it. Roxas sat up, his eyes still closed. Axel traced an invisible path toward the door with the same finger, and the sleeping boy stood and followed it until he reached the stairs. Satisfied that it was safe to move on, Axel leaned over Alex and preformed the same ritual on her and led them down the stairs, where he found Demyx sitting on a dirty counter, flipping through a magazine, and Zexion picking his nails with a kitchen knife.

Demyx threw down the magazine with a sigh, "I can't believe he just leaves these lying around," Axel looked down and frowned at the naked woman on the front.

Zexion scoffed from the other side of the counter, "Wait until you see what was in the dad's room," he fanned out five different pictures across the surface, revealing Alex in different sexual poses. She was naked and crying in most of them, her ribs jutting out and her skin looking as though it was barely stretching over her bones. In two, Mr. Philander was featured with her as well.

Demyx stared at Axel, "We can't let him go, Axel-"

"Demyx, you know the rule."

Zexion looked back and forth between the two, "Axel, I agree with him. We've never faced someone like him since..." he glanced at Demyx, "Since him. We can't let this go."

Axel pushed Alex and Roxas toward the door, turning his back on his two partners.

"I need to get these two back, you both are supposed to come with me, but I trust you are just going to clean up in here while I'm gone," Demyx lifted his sitar and started toward the master bedroom, while Zexion flipped open the thick book that had been at his side all night.

Axel never even heard a scream before he slid the door shut.

After the raid, Axel threw himself into the soft chair of the lounge. The room was magnificent, with beautifully carved pillars supporting the high ceiling. A giant chandelier hung from the centre; the glass beads tinkling like solidified raindrops, the golden lights shimmering against the dark red walls.

He had only worked with the Agency since he had left the Organization, taking Zexion and Demyx as his only loyal followers. The Agency still used the weapons any Organization members had possessed before their betrayal, and they were all required to learn a quiet spell that allowed them to make the children sleepwalk to wherever they needed to go.

Axel glanced up as footsteps approached him from across the shining hardwood floor. Demyx perched on the armrest of his chair and gave him a small smile.

Demyx hadn't joined Axel immediately after leaving the Organization, but instead had gone home to the family he had been a part of before becoming a Nobody. Upon arriving home, Demyx had been subject to his father's commands. After years of being away from the parents Demyx had known and loved, he never stood against what his father wanted, even when the situations got violent and Demyx began the object of his father's child pornography business. Axel had rescued him soon after things got that bad, but not so soon that Demyx was left mentally unscathed.

Axel smiled back at the blond, "Feeling okay, Dem?" He really did worry about the young man, Axel knew that Demyx hid all of his feelings until he was alone or forced to bring them up during missions, like the one they had just succeeded in.

Demyx tilted his head back to stare at the intricate ceiling and let out a sharp breath, "It was hard, but it's over with now. The guy deserved it. Poor girl."

The red headed leader nodded sympathetically, "The first kill is always the worst. Luckily, we should probably follow the no violence rule from now on, so you won't experience your second." Demyx snapped to attention as Zexion entered the room, leaning against the high doorway that was about ten metres away from the chair.

"Getting cozy, I see."

Axel chuckled and put a casual hand on Demyx's knee, "You could say that, I suppose."

At the touch, Demyx leaped up and backed away from the chair. Without saying a word, he turned and ran towards his bedroom. Axel stared after him, understanding what he had done wrong, yet not exactly feeling bad over it.

Zexion scoffed, "You'll never get anywhere with a kid like that, you know."

"Who says I want to get with him?"

"I didn't say get _with _him."

Axel shot a sour look toward Zexion and studied his fingernails with a new found interest, "I'm pretty sure that's _exactly _what you said, Zexion."

Zexion shrugged and moved to sit on the chair across from Axel. "I mean it, Axel. After everything that he's been through, he doesn't need a hound like you pressing your groin against him at every opportunity."

"I take offence to that," the red head said, taken aback, "I don't 'press my groin' against anything, much less my partners."

"Sure, but you never stop trying to."

Axel returned to his own room in a foul mood. Who was Zexion to lecture him about putting the moves on _anyone?_ The asshole probably just wanted Demyx to himself.

A chair clattered against the wall as Axel kicked it out of his way; he didn't care if someone heard him throw a temper tantrum at this point. It wasn't like he wanted Demyx that way, he just wanted someone to touch him back. Someone to love him back for once in his life. The closest thing he had ever had was whatever happened between him and Zexion, which was the partnership of a likable fighting pair. Ever since he had started this Agency, Axel had no one else to support him, no one who cared for him.

Axel drove the palm of his hand through the mirror on the wall beside him without flinching at the pain, and stood in the centre of his room, steaming, trying to cool himself down.

The door let out a soft squeak as a tiny body opened it, his blond head poking around the frame, his blue eyes opened wide in a shocked and scared wonder. Axel whipped around to see the newest Refugee, Roxas, staring at him.

"Did I wake you?" Axel asked softly, crouching down so he could look up at the young boy, hoping that the difference in heights now would help the poor kid feel less nervous. Roxas slowly shook his head, never allowing his eyes to leave Axel's.

Axel straightened and sat down on his bed, "I'm sorry, I'm not usually like that. Someone just... upset me is all."

Roxas stepped over the threshold and nodded in understanding. Axel wondered what the boy's voice would sound like. He imagined it as being just low enough to have gone through puberty, the accents rising and falling like a musical instrument.

"Where am I?"

It was deeper than Axel had expected, full of accusations and confusion. Roxas' brilliant blue eyes were clouded by distrust, but also by something else...

"Where's Alex?"

Axel stood and approached the door, noticing that he was probably over a half foot taller than Roxas. "I can take you to her if you'd like me to," he offered.

Roxas nodded.

Zexion hesitated before lifting his delicate hand to knock on the door in front of him. He had never gone out of his way to make friends with anyone but Axel in the Agency, though he had always convinced himself that that was because they were the only ones who even cared about the tasks the Agency set out to do. All the other members, the Non-Reapers, the ones who had not passed the test to become Reapers like Axel, Demyx, and himself had, none of them mattered to Zexion.

"Hello?" Demyx called out, before Zexion laid a hand on the door.

It opened, showing the blond with red-rimmed eyes and a distraught expression. Zexion stood in silence, looking up at the Reaper who was so much taller than him. Making friends, or even being socially acceptable, had always been a difficulty for him, Zexion was starting to regret this attempt at both.

"Demyx, I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Demyx tilted his head to the side; his confused expression mixing comically with his obvious disarray. Slowly, he shook his head from side to side, "I'm never really okay, some days are just more bearable than others."

Zexion felt himself nod in understanding, though he supposed that he would never truly understand what someone like Demyx had gone through. Demyx stepped back, leaving it up to the shorter Reaper to decide whether this was an act of inviting him into the room or proposing that the conversation was over.

With a conclusive bob of his head, Zexion backed away from the bedroom. This had been a good start.

Axel led Roxas to the opposite end of the Agency Headquarters. There had not yet been a female Refugee to survive any tests or even the shock of being removed from her horrid situation, but there were two separate dorms installed, just in case.

Roxas stared at the blank walls and the red carpets with an idle expression. Axel couldn't read the younger boy, couldn't even tell if there was anything more to him than sadness and gloom.

"Cheer up, Sunshine!" Axel joked, rubbing Roxas' shoulder lightly. Roxas stared up at Axel with a petulant look. The red-headed man wiped the smile from his face and cleared his throat, turning his head to face in front of them but leaving his hand where it was.

"How can you tell me to cheer up when Alex could be dead for all I know?" Roxas showed his first expression since arriving at the Headquarters: an irritated scowl. "When three strangers kidnap us from our beds and split us up?"

Axel let his hand drop as he shrugged lightly, "Well, I'm taking you to see her now. And you're probably better off here than you ever were there."

Roxas grunted and returned to his stoic state. Axel gave him a sidelong stare until the blue-eyed adolescent met his gaze and raised his eyebrows, asking about the stare.

"Why would you have stayed there?" Axel pried, partly out of genuine interest but also out of the desperate need for conversation, not just echoing footsteps.

"You wouldn't understand."

Axel let out an indignant huff of air, "Why don't you try me, kid?"

Roxas glared at Axel for the 'kid' comment and shook his head slightly, "You can't just leave family like that. Sometimes you just have to trust that he'd get better one day," Roxas chewed the side of his mouth for a moment and then continued on, "You know, he wasn't always like that. With the pictures and stuff. He was a good father before."

"Yeah, and kidnappers sometimes have the best intentions."

"Would you shut up and let me speak? I don't forgive him or anything, I hate him more than anyone in the world. I was just concerned for her." Roxas looked away from Axel, at the wall furthest from the strange man.

"It's my turn to ask a question."

Axel smirked, "I suppose it probably is."

"What's your name?"

"Axel."

"Isn't that a car part or something? What a stupid name." The red head started to get offended, but they were at the end of the hall, and Axel gently pushed open the double doors to lead them into the female dorm.

The hall beyond the door was littered with shattered glass and splintered wood, the carpet torn up where it had once met the wall. The walls had holes halfway up them, as though someone had been trying to kick them in- and probably someone had. Across one wall, four red lines made childish waves up and down the hall; the artwork of broken fingernails being dragged across the surface.

A low chuckle escaped Roxas' throat, "Alex isn't the greatest house guest you could have asked for."

Axel stared at the wreckage, "_She _did this? She shouldn't have even been awake until twenty minutes ago!"

A high laugh echoed through the dorm, bouncing off the fouled walls to lift the corners of Roxas' lips. Axel felt thoroughly creeped out by the laugh, and even more so by the smile on the younger boy's face.

"You haven't met the full Philander family yet," Roxas stated calmly, as a dark figure began to slink down the hall toward them.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone stood outside that same door again, not even twenty minutes later their last visit. Demyx, upon hearing the knock, lifted himself from the bed and opened the door to greet a very flustered Zexion, who was pulling at his sleeves and tapping one foot on the ground softly as he waited. Demyx cocked his head to the side; this was very unlike the superior Reaper he had always known.

"Demyx, I know what you're going through," Zexion said in one, rushed breath. He ducked his head so his hair hid all of his face, "I know what you're going through."

Demyx raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Instead, he opened the door wider and gestured for Zexion to enter the room. Zexion glanced around, but it was almost exactly what he had imagined it to be: like a teenage boy's room. Sheets of music were scattered all across the dark carpet, his sitar was balanced carefully against the bed, and posters of bands Zexion had never known were stretched across the white walls that otherwise probably would have driven Demyx crazy with the boredom.

Zexion stood in the middle of it all, trying to breathe calmly. He had never told this to anyone before, never had unleashed the inner demons that he held in his chest since he was young. Not even Axel knew, though Zexion supposed that the red-headed leader had probably assumed something was up.

"So, what's up?" Demyx asked as he sat on the unmade bed. He nodded toward a rocking chair that was in the corner of the room, slightly swaying under a pile of thin novels. Zexion instead seated himself in the office chair that was placed near a severely unused desk.

"I know, I understand, I want to help you," Zexion said slowly, "I went through it too, I want to be there for you."

Demyx frowned, "I don't know what you're talking about, you were sexually abused?"

Zexion started to shake his head, paused, then nodded, "Sort of."

The blond fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He had never liked knowing about other cases of sexual abuse and had never wanted other people to know of his own past in the fear of their sympathy, their questions, and their confessions.

"How old were you?"

"A child. It was before the Organization even. Before I left home to become a Nobody," Zexion gave Demyx, who was peering over his chest at the silver-haired companion, a grim smile, "I want from one master to the next, I suppose."

Demyx scoffed, "How can you joke about this?"

"I've been dealing with it for a while."

"Roxas? Is that Alex?" Axel asked, feeling alarmed. Roxas only let out a low chuckle. The dark figure was slowly approaching them, her thick black hair teased in every direction and her hands twitching like dying spiders.

"She doesn't like to be held hostage," Roxas explained calmly as Axel sucked in a breath. Alex had blood dripping from the corner of her mouth, and her pale skin was tinted pink from the stuff. Her eyes widened as she spotted Roxas, then narrowed as her gaze wandered over to Axel. A growl escaped her snarling lips.

Axel's back straightened as he stepped in front of Roxas, "Alex! I'm not here to hurt you," he shuddered as her high pitched laughter shot through his words, "Demyx and Zexion and I, we're here to help. We rescued you from him."

"_Rescued?" _The young woman asked biting at one of her nails, "Rescued me from what? He already did the damage, yes he did."

Roxas cleared his throat, "Axel, you may not want to call her Alex. That's not who she is right now." His sister shrieked with a deranged glee at these words, doubling over with the laughter and showing off her bare back. Axel could count the knobs in her spine, her already thin, Oriental body was now emaciated by starvation and extreme stress.

In the blink of an eye, Alex had launched herself at Axel's legs. He let out a shout and jumped back, knocking into Roxas. The blond toppled over, hitting the ground with a soft grunt. Axel was torn between helping the young boy up and defending himself against the crazed sister, and decided to take up his fighting stance.

Alex had frozen, was starting at her younger brother slowly getting up and rubbing the elbow he had fallen on. She tilted her head, looking sadly at him as though she were contemplating the severity of his injury.

"Alex, I'm okay, I'm-"

Alex leaped at Axel again, wrapping her bloodied hands around his neck and hissing. Axel stumbled backwards, trying to shove her off of him, feeling the desperate fluttering in his chest that one only gets from suffocation.

His vision began to grow dark when Axel felt the thin hands loosening their grip on him; Alex thought that he was already passing out. Swiftly, Axel swept Alex's feet out from underneath her and shuffled back a few steps before drawing a line of fire between the two males, and her.

An angered cry called across the flames, the sister in anguish all over again.

Roxas looked up at Axel and noted the hand-shaped bruises necklacing his throat. Axel stared down in shock at the younger boy, "What in the actual hell was that?"

"That was my sister."

"It wasn't like you and those kids we picked up, it wasn't pictures or anything," Zexion explained carefully, crossing his legs, "I mean, I got paid and I guess I had options, the others would have been foolish to take though."

Demyx stretched out his legs, "What do you mean?" Zexion wasn't making a lot of sense. He seemed to be exhausted with himself, like he was doing this out of duty, not as a personal choice.

Zexion thought for a moment, "It was like a job. A job that was horrid and disgusting and violating, but it put food on the table."

Zexion sat in bed and glanced around. He was alone, the man must have left during the night. He breathed a sigh of relief and settled back down, barely even closing his eyes before there was a knock at his door. Before he could answer it, a woman pushed it open and stormed into the strange room.

"Sleeping on the job, kid?" Her drawn-on eyebrows arched far too high on her forehead as she tapped her foot on the dirty floor. The fat purple lips under her crooked nose were pursed and cracked, and her stained fingers held a lit cigarette, which she took an extended drag of before continuing.

"You know he's the best customer we have, right? And you fall asleep while he's here?"

Zexion hung his head, "Madame, I'm sorry, I haven't slept in days-"

Clenching the smoke between her yellow teeth, Madame stepped forward and hit Zexion across the face with the back of her hand. A line of blood appeared where her emerald ring had sliced open his skin, but Zexion did not wipe it away. He froze where the slap had directed his head and stayed that way, knowing that any movement would only result in another streak across the other side of his face.

"You don't disappoint, you got that, kid?" Ashes fell from her cigarette to the floor as Zexion nodded slowly. With a heavy breath, Madame reached out, ignoring Zexion's initial flinch, and clutched his chin. Her cracked, dirty fingernails dug into his skin like talons and she forced him to look her in the eye.

"Yes, Madame," Zexion replied in a whisper. The woman chucked and kissed him on the mouth, breathing the smoke between his lips that brought tears to his eyes, but he could not pull away.

After she had left, Zexion pulled back the sheets on his bed to reveal a bruised, naked body. It was time to go down to the motel lobby and receive another customer; usually after one he was allowed to go home, but since he had failed such an important appointment, Zexion knew that Madame would never allow him to go home until he had paid back that debt. It would take him about three appointments.

Slowly, he pulled on a tattered bathrobe and padded softly to the door. He didn't know what time it was, probably around three in the morning. As he entered the hallway, a child about his age tore past him, causing Zexion to press himself against the wall.

The kid skidded to a halt and turned back with a happy grin on his face, "Would you like to play?" He asked, holding up a bouncy ball.

Zexion shook his head, "I can't play."

"Can't play?" The kid looked confused, "Everyone can play, you just need to try."

With a pause, Zexion pondered the confusion of the other child, "I don't have the time. How old are you?"

The boy looked delighted with the question, "I just turned nine, my parents and I are on our way to my grandma's house, that's our room down there," He pointed to the end of the hall, the side with the nicer rooms, Zexion knew, "What's your name?"

So they were the same age. Zexion opened his mouth to answer, "Zex-"

"Zexion!" The familiar voice snapped as a sharp pain went up the side of Zexion's head. Madame pinched his ear even tighter, "Who's your little friend, Zexion?"

The boy looked terrified, and stared back and forth between Zexion and the older woman before racing toward his room. Madame laughed lowly and pulled Zexion toward the stairs to lead him down to the lobby.

Demyx looked as confused as that boy had when Zexion had said he couldn't play, "I don't understand, what were you up to?"

Zexion smirked, "You haven't figured it out yet? Child prostitution. I was one of the most wanted products, I worked nearly every night."

"How did you get into that!" Demyx exclaimed, shocked.

"My father ran off when I was born and my mother was a drunk. I had a younger sister to take care of, and so I needed to earn money to feed us, plus buy mom's booze. I took to begging, and that's where Madame found me." Zexion shrugged as though it was a reasonable explanation. Which, to him, it was.

"What happened to your sister when you joined the Organization?" Demyx asked, running both of his hands through his fine hair. He had never expected a story like this, not from Zexion at least.

Zexion shook his head, "I have no idea, I never spoke to my family after Xemnas picked me up.

` Demyx felt sad for the girl that had been left behind. He had been an only child, and the new kids had both been rescued. He couldn't imagine having to leave a sibling behind in the nightmare that you yourself had just barely survived.

Axel and Roxas left the female dorms in silence. Axel was still trying to breathe normally again, whereas Roxas was only wondering curiously whether or not the fire would burn down the entire building.

"Excuse me if this sounds rude," Axel croaked, "But what the hell is wrong with your sister?"

Roxas shrugged, "I've always assumed it was a split-personality disorder or something. We didn't exactly have the means to get her tested," he ran his hand against the wall nearest to him, "She calls herself Sarah when she's like that."

Axel looked perplexed, "That's insane. How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know, since the pictures started. I guess it was her way of dealing with it. Ever read _My Sweet Audrina_?" The blond grinned to himself as Axel shook his head, "I didn't think you would have."

"I have better things to do than read." Axel shot back. He had never liked reading. Before becoming a Nobody, he had never been a good student. He rarely did assignments, failed tests, and spent most of his classes starting fires in the woods with the stoner friends that he had had back then.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Yeah, well when you're in the position that I was in, reading is the one thing that gets you away from it all," with a low chuckle he added; "Although, I think him buying me all V.C. Andrews books and then locking me in the attic with them is kind of an ironic form of reassurance."

Axel had never been much of a reader, but he had certainly enjoyed movies, "_Flowers in the Attic, _right?"

Roxas laughed, but didn't look happy, "Yeah, she wrote _My Sweet Audrina _as well, though." Axel tried to sneak a glance at the blond, to see the exact expression he wore as he laughed. There had been a great change in him since he shyly entered Axel's room and now, when they had just experienced his sister's psychopathic tendencies.

"You two don't look alike," Axel said casually, stating the obvious. Roxas was entirely Caucasian, when Alex looked as though she was Japanese.

The other male snorted, "She's adopted. Mom adopted her right before she died," he froze suddenly, as though he had accidentally let a piece of information slip that he shouldn't have. Axel remained silent; he didn't know much about comforting people who had been in abusive homes or mentally scarring situations, but he knew a lot about losing parents.

"Alex was adopted when I was twelve. A year later our mother went missing. She's dead now, I'm sure, but he always made us say she was just missing," Roxas spoke quietly, as though his father could hear him speaking of his mother's death.

Axel nodded, "Thank you for sharing that with me," he said politely.

Roxas shook his head violently, as though he had zoned out while confessing this personal information, "Don't talk to me like that! Just take me back to my room!" Axel pointed lazily down the hall; the kid was obviously acting out of anger about his father, and was taking that out on Axel.

The boy took off running, and nearly collided when the door to Demyx's bedroom flew opened and Zexion hurried out, looking flustered and flushed. Demyx stepped out after him, reaching for his shirt until he saw that Axel and Roxas had joined them.

"Getting cozy?" Axel chided, reminding Zexion of his accusations about Axel only wanting to 'get with' Demyx. Zexion looked as though he was trying to throw a comeback at Axel, but instead let out an exasperated huff of breath and stormed away.

Roxas stared at all three of them, obviously confused about who these two new men were. Demyx stared after Zexion, then turned to Axel and shook his head slowly, as though he was disappointed in him.

Axel ran a hand through his spiky red hair and decided that he just wanted to go back to his room and continue throwing the temper tantrum he had been in the middle of before Roxas had interrupted him. He needed to set something on fire.


	3. Chapter 3

Upon closing his door gently behind him, Axel found that the craving he had had before to wreck something had disappeared. He let out a soft breath and flopped down on his unmade bed, feeling as though he had aged decades within the past few hours.

He thought of what Roxas had said about his name: "Isn't that a car part or something? What a stupid name." and smiled to himself before wondering when the last time he had smiled to himself had been. Axel never felt as though he had much of a reason to smile without a sarcastic undertone or if there had been a kind happening; the latter of which hardly ever managed to occur. Since he had taken on the role of head of the Reapers, he had seen children being beaten, children dying from withdrawal; kids who would never speak again out of fear of being reprimanded and kids who had finally been removed from their abusive homes, only to die becoming a Reaper or from running back to where they had been. There wasn't much room for smiling in Axel's area of expertise.

Lifting a lukewarm can of beer from the bedside to his lips, Axel grimaced as the day-old alcohol trickled down his throat and rested with a toxic acidity in his stomach. He didn't much care for drinking, but sometimes it was the only thing that kept him up and moving.

A knock came from the door and Axel glared in that direction, not wanting to make the effort to invite the visitor inside, but also not wanting another soul to share the soft happiness he hardly ever felt. After a moment, footsteps continued down the hall and away. A slight twist shifted through Axel's stomach as a foreign sense of worry came over him. What if it had been Roxas at the door? Almost as quick, Axel corrected this thought with a well-known pessimistic voice in his head: _Why would that kid want anything to do with you?_

With a sense of self-loathing, Axel stood and walked across his room to the desk that held an old, nearly broken laptop. The screen was black, but he still pressed the power button with a dull feeling of hope that was diminished with a quiet light near where the charging cable connected, as though the computer was politely reminding him that it had died. _Like everything else you try to use_, that voice chuckled in his ear.

Axel let out a low growl and swept the laptop, along with a lamp and numerous pens and papers, to the floor. He threw himself into the cushioned chair in front of the desk and rested his cheek on the cool, wooden surface.

It was only telling the truth, that voice, Axel told himself. All the kids he brought back to the Agency he had wanted to use to make more Reapers, and they had only died in the severe training that had been set up long before Axel become the leader. The same training that was frequently used to create the Nobodies. It was the fate that awaited Roxas and probably his sister, if she could be controlled at all. Axel felt nearly no hope that either would survive; how could they, when the only surviving Reapers also happened to be the only surviving Organization members?

Demyx slowly walked away from Axel's door, shuffling his socked feet and recalling the science of static electricity that he had learned in another life. Absentmindedly, he hoped that he would come across another being in the hall so he could show them what he knew in the form of a playful shock.

With a smile, Demyx realized that a reader like Zexion would already know about static electricity; and Demyx wasn't about to deny that Zexion was the only being he wouldn't have minded bumping into in the hall. He played the scenario through his mind, the initial greeting and the casual poke in the side that would result in Zexion jumping an inch away. He would probably brush his hair from his eye and snap something like, "Watch what you're doing, why don't you?". Only he'd probably say it more intellectual-like, Demyx thought.

Sometimes people said that Demyx was stuck in the mind of the child he had never had a chance to be, and sometimes Demyx agreed with them. Then again, the only people he had encountered since leaving his home had been a short-tempered Axel and a stoic Zexion, both of whom had been nearly finished with growing up when they became Nobodies, and then Reapers.

He had wanted to talk to Axel about the new boy, Roxas. He had wanted to know if he could help in the new boy;s recovery, considering that they had been through nearly the same problem. Axel probably would have said no anyway, Demyx thought, he probably wanted to help Roxas himself.

Demyx knew Axel's type. He acted like a tough and uncaring guy, but Demyx knew that, on the inside, Axel was only beating himself up. There was a dark air to Axel that everyone seemed to notice, but no one seemed to want to understand. He suspected that the heaviness on Axel's shoulders was from the problems of everyone around him, not from a problem with them all.

Zexion locked his bedroom door behind him and settled into the small chair that was placed in the corner of the room. Closing his eyes, he let out a slow, relaxed breath and tried not to feel the anger that was pressing at the wall of his chest, the absolute fury at Axel for ruining a moment that had been so sacred and meaningful.

Inside he knew that it had not been Axel who had ruined the moment, though, but himself. Axel's snide comment had only been the finishing blow to Zexion's self-esteem.

Before he had nearly pummelled Roxas with Demyx' bedroom door, Zexion had been making desperate excuses and brushing the wrinkles out of his shirt, running his hand over the material to erase the crumpled texture that came only from a pair of hands being rested against a foreign chest.

"Zexion, please, I'm sorry," Demyx was saying as he leaped up and tried to beat the shorter male to the door, but Zexion already had his slight hand on the knob and was in the process of making his hurried departure.

He hadn't meant for it to happen. He knew that this was exactly what Axel had been angered about before, about Zexion only wanting Demyx for himself, but he honestly had not meant for it to happen. This wasn't like him.

Zexion clenched his fists tightly as he breathed in deeply, then relaxed them as he let another slow breath escape his lips. Just like one of the other prostitutes had taught him many years ago. Squeezing lemons, she had called it. He remembered her fondly, that girl of about seventeen years, with her shoulder-length blonde hair and light blue eyes. She was another favourite of the clients, so they didn't get to talk much during work hours. After hours, though, they stayed in the same room quite often and taught each other ways to cope. Prostitutes don't sleep much, even when they aren't needed.

_One, two, three, four... _he counted to eight as he drew in another breath, squeezing imaginary lemons harder with each number, and at eight he repeated the process of slowly released them, loosening his grip with every count.

_Eight, seven, six, five- _a flash of memory. Of pale pink lips drawing closer to his own, of dry blond hair falling across his shoulders as two mouths came together. Zexion let his breath out in a rush, dropping his hands. He let his head fall toward his chest and sighed, knowing that no amount of breathing exercises would let him forget that kiss.

"Are you nervous?" Demyx had asked softly, as his arm was draped across one of Zexion's shoulders and his mouth was dangerously close to the other man's ear. Zexion quietly breathed out a no, and Demyx asked: "What about tempted?" There was a moment before Zexion shrugged slightly, trying to seem uncaring, "A little," he answered, liking the feeling of Demyx breathing into his ear.

"To do what?" Demyx wondered aloud, moving his mouth closer to Zexion's neck. A silence hung between them like a comfortable friend; they had never had a close relationship before this moment, and the halting of the conversation was a refreshing familiarity compared to the closeness of their bodies.

To break the silence, neither said anything. It ended with Demyx placing his hands on Zexion's chest and moving his mouth to meet the other. Zexion shut his eyes and placed a shaking hand on the back of his friend's neck. Demyx felt a shiver go from there to the tips of his toes as he pressed his lips closer to Zexion's.

Zexion felt a warmth spread through him that he had never felt before. No one ever wanted to kiss a prostitute, especially not one that was a child like he had been. Axel had initially tried to get with Zexion when he had joined the Organization, but had given up quite quickly after he had just began. He had never been kissed by anyone worthwhile, and as he kissed Demyx back, he was able to forget what he had been and what he had done, and was able to focus on the man in front of him.

Demyx pulled away and he let out a soft giggle. Zexion started to smile, then turned away quickly. "I should go," he said, smoothing out the crinkles in his shirt. Demyx started to protest, but Zexion was already at the door and turning the handle.

"I'm sorry, please-" Demyx pleaded as Zexion rushed into the hall, nearly knocking Roxas over with the door. Demyx reached for Zexion, but froze as he heard a well-known sarcastic chuckle.

After the brief encounter with Axel and Roxas, Zexion had marched straight to his room to do his breathing. These exercises had helped him through years of being exploited, of dealing with Xemnas, and of dealing with Axel, but they couldn't help him through the first positive feeling he had felt in a very, very long time.

Roxas felt his hands shaking as he opened the door to the room that he hoped was his. Axel had been no help whatsoever, had only pointed him in the vague direction, but upon entering the room, Roxas found that it was indeed his own. His dirty clothes were strewn across the white carpet, and he had on the shirt and pants that he had found in the closet in the connected bathroom.

He missed Alex. Roxas had never liked when she got like that, because even though Xion, as she called herself in that state, forgot what had been done to her by their father, she also forgot that she was an older sister. Xion thought that Roxas was just a kid who hung around her, like a young school boy with a crush on an older woman. She offered him no love or support like Alex would, but at least still felt a certain level of protectiveness. He wished that she could share this room together, cut out paper bugs and flowers and tape them all around to make it seem like they were outside like they had at home.

Roxas wondered what had been done to his father, but at the same time didn't think that asking one of the strange men would be the most reassuring conclusion. He preferred to make up his own scenario, wherein the old bastard was found out by the cops and taken to a prison for the rest of his life.

Who was he kidding? Roxas knew his father was dead. He couldn't bring himself to entirely care, mostly he was dumbfounded by the idea that he would never be beaten or starved by that man again. The men who bought pictures of Alex from his father would never again enter the attic and, upon finding the star of her own website in her Xion state of mind, turn to Roxas for their own dirty form of stress relief. Roxas felt angry that he had gotten away with being killed in his sleep instead of brought to jail, to live his life knowing how he had fucked up his two only kids.

The one redeeming thought was that, if he somehow made his way to heaven, his father would be forced to confront his deceased wife and explain to her what he had done. Roxas chuckled as he remembered his mom playfully tapping him on the middle when he was a young boy and saying: "I'll beat you down to Chinatown!" when he had pretended to use a televised wrestling move on her leg. If his father wound up in heaven, he'd be beaten way past Chinatown. He's be in hell before he could say Shanghai.

Roxas sat down on the bed and looked slowly around the room. It was empty, save for the articles of clothing on the floor. There were no books on the shelves, no knickknacks on the desk; no pens and no papers and no glasses of water on any surfaces. Nothing that one would typically find in a room that someone resided in.

He was dying to read a book. Up in the attic, Roxas had read nearly a book a day. He tried to remember if anyone had mentioned a library in this huge building, but couldn't recall anything. Standing up, Roxas decided that he might as well try to find one. There wasn't much sense sitting in an empty room otherwise.

The door closed gently behind him as Roxas stepped into the hall. He leaned against it and looked both ways, considering his options. With no idea where the possibly nonexistent library could be, he finally decided to walk in the direction that led away from Axel's room.

It bothered him how all the walls and carpets were white. Everything was white. It was all blindingly white, like a hospital room. Roxas ran his hand along the wall, half hoping that it would leave a dirty streak. But looking behind him, he saw that he had left no imprint whatsoever.

Zexion started down his hall toward the library, figuring that if his breathing couldn't help him, then maybe some reading would. He had read many of the books that were in the Headquarters, but he was sure that he would find something to occupy his time.

Turning a corner, Zexion saw a small head of blond hair peeking around the hall as though it were looking for something. He wondered what Roxas could be doing; he had seemed angry with Axel when they had all met up earlier, so he couldn't be looking for him. Zexion also suspected that Roxas probably wasn't looking for him or Demyx, perhaps he was looking for his sister?

"Roxas," Zexion said, approaching the lost-looking boy, "Where are you going?"

Roxas jumped at the sudden sound in the quiet hallway and scowled when he saw who it was, "What? Am I supposed to be locked in my room or something?"

Zexion shrugged. He didn't much care for the boy's attitude, but at the same time he couldn't exactly be bothered with it, "I don't care where you go, maybe I could help you get there instead of having you wander around the entire place. You won't find any 'You Are Here' maps anytime soon."

The blond rolled his eyes, "I was looking for the library."

"I was going there myself." With that, Zexion continued walking, passing Roxas and not looking behind him to see if the boy was following. He didn't care much either way, if the kid was going to be so rude.

They walked in silence until Roxas finally spoke up; "You talk a lot less than Axel does,"

"Axel talks a lot more than anyone should." Zexion replied, turning another corner.

Roxas started to drag his feet along the ground as he walked, making Zexion wince at the irritating noise. The younger one noticed the grimace and grinned to himself as he tried to make the noise even louder. Zexion rolled his eyes, already knowing what book he would recommend to Roxas.

"You're kind of short," Roxas stated casually, waiting for a reaction.

"You're kind of disrespectful."

"How old are you anyway? Any of you, Axel, that tall blond guy, and you?"

Zexion shrugged again, "How am I supposed to know?"

Roxas gaped for a moment, then snapped his jaw shut. He kicked at the carpet as he walked, hoping that the sound irritated the hell of Zexion- which it did. "How can you not know how old you are," he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"We're here."

Zexion pulled open a large, wooden door and stepped into an enormous room that was filled floor to ceiling with books. Books littered the single table at the centre of the room, resided in place of the cushions on the two chairs and one couch, and were stacked in multiple piles all over the floor. Roxas gained a small amount of respect in Zexion's eyes as he watched the young blond turn in a full circle and practically launch himself at the closest shelf.

"You act as though you've never been in a library," Zexion said lightly, already making his way to the table. The books were in no particular order; not on the shelves, nor on the floor, table, or furniture, but Zexion knew where the majority of the ones that interested him were. Often times, he find himself without enough space in his thin arms to carry all of his books back to his room, and usually stored them on the table. He had never encountered Axel or Demyx in the library, so he doubted anyone would replace them on the shelves.

"I haven't, really," Roxas replied, the snark in his ton lost, " I never really left the attic."

Zexion felt little sympathy and gave none, but instead nodded in understanding, "You should read this," he said, holding out a worn book, with a red cover.

"_The Catcher in the Rye?_" Roxas accepted the book, flipping through it. "It looks like it's been read a lot."

Zexion chuckled without a smile, "It's a world-famous book. Many people relate to the main character, in fact, I believe it's probably one of the only books Axel has ever read."

Roxas tried not to feel curious at this comment, tried to hide the interest in the book that he suddenly felt at this mention of the red-headed man's name. What did he care if Axel related to the character? It was just another stupid character, related to by a stupid man.

Despite all these thoughts, Roxas still sat down against a small section of wall that wasn't a book shelf, and started to read. As he did, he found that he liked Holden, he liked the wall that he spoke and thought. As though he was worried Zexion could sense that he was enjoying the character as much as Axel had, Roxas shrunk lower, until his face was hidden behind the book.

He liked that Holden was always told that he didn't act his age. That was something Roxas could relate to, he never felt like he was acting the right age. Though, who could blame him? What adults had he had around to model himself after? Thinking back to what he had thought earlier, about his mother beating his father to Chinatown, Roxas realized just how childlike some of his thoughts were, and felt his face grow red at the immaturity of it all.

Zexion cleared his throat, "I'm going back. You may want to come with me if you want to get back alright."

Roxas stood and followed Zexion out of the library, all the way back to his room with his new book tucked under his arm.


	4. Chapter 4

Zexion didn't glance up from his book as the door to his room opened, " Axel, what do you want?" He continued to read, and silently hoped that the other man would be leaving quite quickly so he could continue doing so without feeling rude.

"What the fuck, Zexion, that's downright creepy," Axel slurred, leaning on the door frame. Zexion shut his eyes and became aware of the slight odour of alcohol that had entered the room upon Axel's arrival.

"Get out of here if you're going to be like that," Zexion replied, finally closing his book.

Axel snorted and settled himself in a chair across from the shorter man. "You know, I don't think I will get out of here, Zexy. I think I'll be doing whatever the fuck I want to." He stretched out a leg and chuckled as it sent a pile of books and magazines flying. Zexion sighed.

"You're an asshole, Axel. You really are." Zexion scooped up some of the books and dumped them on the bed, "You wonder why you scared that kid off," he added quietly.

"What did you say?" Axel demanded, sitting up straight. Zexion shook his head, feeling stupid for saying it in the first place.

Axel stood and kicked over another pile of books, "What the fuck did you just say, Zexion?"

"Calm down, Jesus!" Zexion exclaimed with a scowl, "Stop messing up my things. Do you think that kid will really soften for you if you're walking around angry and drunk?"

Throwing himself back into the chair, Axel shook his head slowly. He pressed two fingers to his forehead and shook it again. His head hurt. His chest hurt. He didn't want to think about Roxas any more than he had to.

"What's so special about Roxas anyway?" Zexion asked, arranging his books all over again, "You've only even known him for a day and he has you wasted? It took you about a month of hitting on Demyx to even get you tipsy."

"He's cute, isn't he?" Axel grinned a wolfish grin and thought of the kid. He thought of the way that Roxas had commented on his name, and how he struggled so hard to seem angry and full of angst after letting Axel in for just a moment.

Zexion shrugged, "I suppose so. For you, maybe." Axel let it slide, he knew that Zexion had a thing going with Demyx for the time being, even though they were both to prudish to admit it. They'd be cute together anyway, much cuter than he and Demyx ever would have been.

"'Sides, Romeo and Juliet fell in love, got married, and dies in, like, a week," he kicked his feet over the armrest, making Zexion wince, thinking that Axel had been aiming another kick at some books stacked on the table beside the chair.

"So now you're in love?" Zexion asked, returning to his seat.

Axel smirked, "Who knows, neither you nor I, that's for damn sure."

Zexion rolled his eyes, caring less and less about the situation at hand and more about returning to his book.

Demyx clambered up higher onto the roof and perched near a window. He had always rather enjoyed climbing, but he was too much of a klutz to do it most days. Lately, though, he had found himself caring less about falling.

Pulling himself up, he reached the top of the headquarters building. It wasn't a huge feat, he would happily admit, but it was one all the same.

He cocked his head to the side as he noticed something new placed on the opposite side of the roof's peak; a spot of yellow being blown over to the other side. Gingerly placing his feet, he never usually climbed onto the actual slope of the roof due to the fear that kicked in toward the top, Demyx scrambled toward the yellow spot.

Demyx grabbed the edge at the very top and hoisted himself close enough to peek at what the object was, only to see that it wasn't an object- it was a someone.

Roxas basked in the dying light on the roof with a pair of white headphones in his ears and a slight smile on his face. Demyx stared at him in wonder; where had he learned to climb like this, where had he found an iPod, and how did he find his way up there?

He cleared his throat, hoping to casually awaken the other boy to his presence, but realized that it wasn't going to work when he heard the heavy vocals from the headphones drifting out to meet his ears. The music was too loud to make Roxas notice him, but Demyx was too afraid that Roxas would fall to make any physical contact with the boy.

Instead, Demyx stretched out on the opposite side of the roof to Roxas and rested there, listening to the nearly inaudible hum of music he had never heard before and could barely make out now. His fingers tapped a vague rhythm out on the shingles under his hands, trying to keep pace with the unfamiliar song.

He heard Roxas shuffle around near him and nearly jumped up, but settled again when he realized that the boy was not, in fact, rising to leave. Demyx closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the warmth of being so close to the fading sun, with a strange boy and a strange melody to keep him company.

A soft yelp was what brought Demyx back to reality after being asleep for God only knows how long. He twisted around, searching the other side of the roof for Roxas, who had most definitely been there when Demyx had dozed off.

He saw a pair of frail hands clutching the gutter right before the roof dropped off to a five-story fall below. Demyx scuttled down toward the hands, barely noticing the shingles he was kicking up.

Roxas whimpered slightly, but held on in otherwise silence. His left head phone popped from his ear and started to fall toward the ground before it was pulled back by the other. Demyx quickly grabbed on to both of the hands and leaned back with all his weight, walking slowly up the steep roof. Roxas clenched Demyx's hands in his own as he stared wide-eyed at the ground below him and allowed himself to be dragged upward.

When his shoulders and torso were pulled over the ledge, Roxas swung his legs up and over the gutter, stabilizing himself before grasping at his pocket to make sure his iPod wasn't damaged.

After ensuring that it was not, Roxas gaped up at Demyx, "What are you doing up here?" he asked, standing.

"I could ask you that, too," Demyx replied, panting, "Why wouldn't you yell for help?"

Roxas looked toward the ground quickly at that, "My sister and I used to come up to the roof to see the sky when we lived with my dad. I guess I got used to having to be completely silent, no matter what."

Demyx frowned, disturbed that Roxas would have preferred falling to his death than alerting his father that he had been on the roof. Even when he had been in the same sort of situation, Demyx probably would have never chosen secrecy over life.

"So, why were you here?" Roxas asked, sitting down and leaning back until his spine met the shingles again. He kicked his feet over the edge glanced up at Demyx, "I thought you guys would be out kidnapping or something."

Demyx chuckled and sat down beside Roxas, noting that there was no unkindness in the boy's voice as he called the Reapers kidnappers.

"Is that what you think of us? We're only trying to help people," Demyx grinned, "And we have to wait until Axel decides to get off his butt and find us a job to be able to do another raid."

Roxas scowled at the name, "Why does he do that? Who says we want to be rescued?"

Demyx shrugged, "The three of us have all been through similar situations, and I think that we all went through a phase when we didn't want to be saved, but things really do get better once you're out of that home."

He looked at Roxas with a bit of jealousy, "I guess you should just be lucky that your sister got to come along. We don't have any family."

Roxas frowned at the sky, "Do you like music?" he asked, awkwardly changing the subject.

Demyx smiled, "Music is my life."

They found themselves grinning at each other with the vague connection.

"What were you listening to earlier?" Demyx asked, thinking of the swift lyrics and intricate beat. It wasn't anything that he had ever heard before, but it was also something that he wouldn't mind hearing again.

Roxas shrugged, "I have no idea, I took this from Axel's room." He turned the iPod around in his hands, revealing a backing of red and orange flames, "Mine was left at my house, so I figured he owed me this, at least."

Demyx laughed, "Well, doesn't it say what the title or artist is? No cover art?"

Shaking his head, Roxas handed the device to Demyx. All the songs were named after tracks, like Track One and Track Four. The static grey background was the only cover art to speak of, and every artist was labelled as unknown. Demyx was a very unorganized person, but his music library was the one thing he kept entirely tidy. This iPod would drive him insane.

"Do you like the music on it?" Demyx asked, scrolling through hundreds of nameless songs. Roxas nodded, staring out at the sky with his hands behind his head. "We should look up the lyrics online, then we can find out what the songs are!"

Roxas shook his head, "They're not in English."

Demyx sighed and fell back, "I guess we'll never know, then."

It never occurred to either of them to just ask Axel, but they didn't care at the moment. They watched the pink clouds drift by until the sun was nearly down, listening to the foreign music float in between them.

"I guess we should go back, before it gets dark," Demyx said as he sat up, "We don't want to fall off the edge, do we?"

Roxas laughed punched the other boy in the arm as he stood up with him, brushing off the seat of his pants. Demyx carefully picked his way up the roof and over to the other side, Roxas following in silence, sad to return to his miserable room.

When they reached the ground, Demyx tilted his head to the side and considered the hesitant expression on Roxas's face, "Would you like to see my instruments?"

Roxas tried to hide his excitement, "That'd be cool!" He said, falling into step beside Demyx. Demyx smiled to himself, feeling happy that he had been the one to bring Roxas out of his shell; not knowing about the trip to the library Zexion had taken.

Axel woke the next morning with a horrid headache and bloodshot eyes. He rolled over in his bed to stare at his alarm clock. 8:50 AM. With a groan, he swept the warm beer cans off his dresser and to the carpet. He hated alcohol.

Which was what he told himself every morning he woke up with a hangover. Which was the position he found himself in every time he felt rejected by another man. By now he should be used to it, Axel told himself, when had he ever been more than a here and now to anyone?

Axel stared up at his ceiling and thought back to his past relationships; the feeling of being used and abused spreading over his body like a wet blanket. He had slept with many men over his years, but never had one said that he loved Axel, and Axel had never considered going along with any of them long enough to believe it was a committed relationship.

He tried to reason with himself. This wasn't love; Axel barely knew this kid. Axel breathed out his nose in frustration over himself. He didn't understand his own mind in these sort of situations. Something in the back of his mind told Axel that he was just desperately seeking someone to love him back; like a grade school child acting out to gain the attention of his parents. At the same time, Axel couldn't help but notice that he had never attempted to fall in love with one of the Refugees.

This wasn't love. Roxas was just another victim of Axel's childhood issues; another target to aim for with the hopes of feeling what he was supposed to feel, another lover to get hung up on with the drunken feeling of what optimists called love, another person to leave him feeling empty and stupid in the end. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Axel's love life had the same recipe as shampooing.

Axel grasped blindly around the stand beside his bed, searching for his iPod. Cursing, he sat up. It was nowhere in sight. With a scowl, Axel walked across the room to the laptop he had nearly broken the night before and booted it up in an attempt to fill the room with a sound other than his troubling thoughts.

A steady drumbeat throbbed out of the weak built-in speakers and Axel sighed. He had no idea what the names of any of the songs on his iTunes were, he just downloaded from a website that was probably illegal and clicked on whichever songs he felt would be lucky. Many of them weren't even English, and the ones that were weren't any that he had heard on any radios or CD's. Axel didn't care about them that much, in fact he barely even paid any attention to them.

He just needed the sensation of drowning in a handful of chords and the suffocating feeling of a drum beating in time to what should have been his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Roxas loitered awkwardly outside of a certain bedroom, attempting to look collected and as though he meant serious business. Inside, his stomach was knotted like the white headphones he wrapped tightly around his fingers as he waited.

He had spent the night with Demyx, listening to different albums and learning how to properly hold the sitar. They had been drugged by music, and hadn't slept a wink the entire night. Roxas hoped that there were no bags under his eyes, though he knew in the back of his mind that either his body had already become used to the effects of insomnia or the people around him had accepted the bags under his crystal blue eyes long before.

Tired of waiting, Roxas slid the thin iPod under the door and hoped Axel wouldn't crush it under his feet as he left the room. It would serve the man right if he did, Roxas thought. He had been waiting after his knock for fifteen minutes before coming to this solution.

"You had it?"

Roxas whipped around at the voice, having not heard the door ease open. The corners of Axel's eyes were as red from being bloodshot as the red hair that swung past his bare and bony shoulders. His skin was pale with sickness, showing across his unclothed chest all the way up to his defined cheekbones.

"I- uh, I didn't mean to wake you." Roxas sputtered and stared at the ground, not wanting to watch as Axel hiked his sleep pants over his hip bones. The man was barely recognizable with his crumpled hairstyle and body painted with the pallet reserved for the richest of hangovers.

Axel frowned at the device, "You were listening to my music?"

Roxas nodded, not knowing what else he could possibly do to remove himself from this moment in time. Axel leaned against his door frame and sighed.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed it." Axel retreated into his room and shut the door behind him, locking Roxas away for the world to play with. The blond felt confused; he barely knew Axel, but he knew for sure that the man usually wouldn't have pushed him aside so easily.

Feeling dejected without entirely knowing why he cared, Roxas knocked lightly on the door again. It was as if his feet were moving according to their own will, as well as his hands and his arms and his lips as Roxas called through the door; "Axel? Won't you talk to me?"

"What?" Axel replied gruffly, opening the door with a grunt, "Why would you want to talk to me? What are you even doing here?"

Roxas stared at his feet, "You're not a kidnapper," he confessed, only realizing that the words were true after they had already slipped from his mouth, "You rescued Alex and I from that place."

Axel's green eyes widened and Roxas could see just how bloodshot they were. He must have been drinking a lot the night before.

"What made you realize that?" Axel asked, turning into the room with obvious intentions that Roxas would follow. Roxas did.

He sat in a chair near a computer desk as Axel settled on the bed, "I spent a lot of yesterday with Zexion in the library, and he helped me choose out a lot of books that made me feel better. Then I spent the night with Demyx," Axel's eyebrows flew up at this confession, "We were listening to your iPod and trying to name the music, but none of it was familiar and so instead he taught me about music theory and instrumentation and everything-"

"Roxas," Axel said gently, "What are you getting at?"

Roxas shrugged, "I guess I just realized that if they're not as bad as I thought they were, you couldn't be either. Especially if your music has anything to do with your morals."

Axel chuckled and studied the device in his hands, "It's not English, for all you know the morals of that music could be to tie people up before sex or stuff children into suitcases." Roxas didn't laugh along, but instead looked vaguely uncomfortable with the subject.

"Oh come on," Axel continued on, "I don't know what any of it means either. You went to school, you probably know more than I do about all kinds of music."

Roxas shook his head, "I never went to school."

Axel's head snapped up, "It said specifically in your file that you went to school. It never mentioned if your sister did, but I clearly remember that it said you continued to receive terrific grades throughout the abuse."

"I haven't gone to school in over two years."

"And your sister?"

Roxas thought for a moment, "I guess she probably hasn't gone for about three. After we took time off for our mother's death, she quit entirely because that's when dad started with the pictures. I lasted another year, because it wasn't until then that I caught on to what he was doing to her and he locked us in the attic."

Axel ran a hand through his hair, vaguely considering when the last time had been that someone had seen him with it down. How had the file messed this up? They were usually exact. Trustworthy to the point that if it said that Roxas had been bulletproof, Axel would have shot the boy without fear. The files were never, ever wrong.

"We should talk to Zexion about this, something isn't right," Axel stated, standing and heading toward the bathroom to spike his hair and attempt to wake himself a little more with a cold splash of water.

Roxas looked alarmed, "Can't we talk? We were just starting to get along!"

Axel raised an eyebrow, "I've been trying to get along, you've been dead set on hating me."

The blond ducked his head, embarrassed. Axel passed him to get to the washroom, and Roxas lashed out with his arm to clutch a pant leg and stand as quickly as he could from the wobbly chair and with the closeness of another person.

"Please?" Roxas said, staring up at Axel's befuddled expression.

A hand was resting on his throat; a warning, an omen, a pleasure. Roxas touched it with his fingers and kept the fabric of Axel's pants grasped tightly in his other hand. Axel stared at his hand, touching the boy he had longed for in such an intimate way. He could feel the pulse beneath Roxas's skin and felt himself wanting to press his lips to that very spot.

Roxas let his eyes close and his lips part slightly, half wishing that Axel would place his own upon them. The heat from the man's hand was spreading deliciously down his throat to his chest all the way down to his toes.

Axel searched Roxas's face for any hint of hesitation and found none. His hand was beginning to shake. Just minutes ago he had closed the door on the kid, attempting to heed what his depressed thoughts had told him upon waking. Now here he was, wanting to press his mouth against those soft lips. The file was long forgotten.

Roxas felt the desk against the small of his back as he leaned back, willing for Axel to move with him. He let out a soft sigh as Axel's hips pressed against his and opened his eyes to see that Axel's had fluttered closed. Roxas looked down at their connected bodies and tilted his head up just in time to see Axel finally leaning in for the kiss.

Roxas reached behind Axel's neck and closed the distance between their mouths.

Demyx stretched his arms over his head and arched his spine away from the mattress of his bed. He heard his bones creaking and cracking as he worked out his tight muscles and felt his neck grow stiff until he cracked that as well. He was trying to loosen himself up before napping; he had had a long night of sharing with Roxas.

Finally feeling relaxed enough to sleep, Demyx rolled away from the overhead light. He didn't like the glare of light against his eyelids as he tried to sleep. Much like how he didn't like it in the corners of his eyes as he read during the day. Then again, he didn't like the lights being turned off while he slept. He hated knowing that if he opened his eyes, nothing would change.

Demyx didn't wake as his door was opened. Zexion stepped lightly into the room and, upon seeing Demyx asleep, shut the door softly behind him. He went to the bedside and gently shook the sleeping man's shoulder.

"Demyx?" Zexion called softly. Demyx let out a sigh and buried his face in the pillow, obviously still asleep. "Demyx, please wake up."

Zexion fell backward as Demyx snapped awake, lashing out around him with a stream of whimpers. When he opened his eyes, Demyx looked around to see Zexion on the floor, staring in disbelief at him.

"I'm sorry," Demyx whispered, jumping out of bed to offer a hand to help Zexion up, "I'm so sorry. I'm not used to being woken up."

"It was my fault," Zexion replied, "I should have known better."

He brushed himself off, also brushing away any normalcy that may have been sparked by his vulnerable place on the ground. Demyx slowly lowered himself back onto the bed. His heart was pounding from the awakening, but perhaps it was also from who had caused it.

"What are you doing here?" Demyx asked, tilting his head to the side and hoping that his face wasn't as flushed as it felt.

Zexion sighed and sat on the bed beside Demyx. "I need to talk to you about something."

Demyx felt his shoulders tighten at the close contact. Zexion usually stayed away from any kind of physical contact, and would typically sit in the chair on the other side of the room. He clenched his fists as he remembered their kiss the night before and felt his face growing even warmer.

"Do you know what it means to be asexual?"

The blond looked taken aback and Zexion cleared his throat and continued as quickly as he could, "Not in the scientific sense, wherein one would reproduce through mitosis, but instead in the sense where I would... rather not reproduce at all." he mentally smacked his forehead. Demyx looked absolutely bewildered and confused. Zexion closed his eyes and slowly breathed out, releasing his fists.

"Demyx, if you look up what asexuality is, it describes something that lacks sexual organs. Like germ cells. Do you understand?"

Demyx nodded. Then he paused and shook his head, "Are you telling me that you don't, you know, have a-"

"No," Zexion interrupted as calmly as he could manage, "I have the organs. I just don't want to use them." Zexion had never attempted to come out to anyone before. He had never felt the need to, because really it wasn't anyone's business but his own whether or not he chose to have sex.

But with Demyx, it was different. Zexion knew what he felt for Demyx, and although he had a hunch that Demyx felt the same way, it was only fair that Demyx knew what he would be getting into. Zexion had never had much of an interest in sex. In fact, he only felt a vague sense of fascination with the subject.

Demyx shrugged, "So you don't want to have sex?" Zexion felt his face flush when Demyx burst out laughing at Zexion's nod.

Noticing this, Demyx slid a little closer to Zexion. "Hey, I wasn't laughing you you being... asexual. I was laughing because you thought it would matter to me," Demyx placed a tentative hand on Zexion's shoulder, ignoring the earlier uncomfortable feelings about contact, "Zexion, I don't care about the label you have, I care about you."

Zexion brushed his hair out of his face and felt himself smile a little as it fell right back into place. Demyx chuckled and pushed it back behind Zexion's ear and used the same hand to pull his face closed to his own.

Demyx leaned his forehead against Zexion's. "Is this okay?" He breathed, savouring the sudden weight of two foreign hands being placed on him; one on his shoulder and the other on his knee. In reply, Zexion pushed forward and closed the distance between their lips.

They pulled away after the brief kiss, Demyx with a red face and Zexion with a rare smile. Demyx laughed, ducking his head and resting it on Zexion's shoulder. Zexion found himself grinning harder as he felt the other man's shoulders shaking with a private fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Zexion asked, leaning away so Demyx would have to raise his head once more.

Demyx kissed the corner of Zexion's mouth, "You always act like you can't stand me. We've been Reapers for months now and you've never acted like you liked me until yesterday!"

"And here we are," Zexion added, shaking his head thoughtfully. "I don't know what overcame me. I think I always liked you, I've just been struggling with my own feelings about other things. It wasn't until I came out to myself as asexual that I really started to allow myself to feel romantically about anyone."

Demyx leaned back against the wall at the side of his bed. He couldn't stop smiling. He smiled about the idea of him being with Zexion, he smiled at the thought of Zexion being so worried about telling Demyx that he was asexual, and most of he smiled about the fact that Zexion was smiling right back at him.

Axel broke the kiss and let out a heavy breath as he watched Roxas, nearly panting, run both his hands through his blond hair. The boy's lips were red and his eyes were wide and innocent; so different than the half-lidded lust filled ones Axel was so used to seeing on the people he kissed.

Blue eyes met green, and that was when Roxas seemed to realize what had just happened. Gaping, he stood tall and straight and sputtered out an apology before starting to rush toward the door.

"Stay," Axel said. Roxas couldn't decipher his tone; whether it had been commanding or if it was almost a plead, "Please."

The latter, Roxas thought as he paused with his hand on the doorknob. Why should he stay? He thought. He had known this was what he wanted inside, that he should get it over with sooner rather than later. But why shouldn't he leave? Roxas felt his stomach churn as he realized what Axel may have in mind.

On the contrary, Axel leaned against the wall closest to him and slid down it to the floor. He twisted his hands. Roxas stepped back from the door and sat on the floor at the opposite end of the room.

"I'm sorry," Axel muttered. "You probably didn't want that."

Roxas tilted his head back until it hit the wall, "I'm pretty sure that I kissed you, not the other way around."

Axel shrugged, though the careless gesture was lost in his miserable looking expression. "Either way, I'm sorry. You don't exactly need this on your plate right now." He stared at his hands and started to wish that he had just let Roxas leave.

"You're only thinking about your own feelings right now," Roxas said slowly, "You're not really considering how I feel."

But how did he feel? Roxas didn't feel as though he wanted to be in a relationship with Axel. Instead he felt a sort of casual friendship based on a vague sense of trust. He didn't think it was love, but then again he had only known Axel for a couple of days and had spent the majority of that time trying to hate him for taking him and his sister away from their home. Maybe he had some messed up case of Stockholm's Syndrome, wherein he had convinced himself that Axel was a kidnapper and then proceeded to fall in love with him.

Axel bowed his head, "How do you feel then, Roxas?"

"I don't really know at this very moment," Roxas shook his head, "I just don't feel any regret really. Confused, but not unhappy."

Allowing himself a single, halfhearted smile, Axel looked up. "I can work with not unhappy."


	6. Chapter 6

Roxas turned left at the next corner, hoping against hope that it would be the right way to go. Axel, Demyx, and Zexion had all gone on a rescue mission that had been deemed "top-secret". Roxas had grumbled about it for a while, frustrated that Axel couldn't share any of it with him, until he realized that this would be a good opportunity to visit his sister.

Roxas and Alex had been in the Reaper's headquarters for a week now, and Roxas had only visited her the first day they arrived there; the time when she had tried to attack Axel. It usually took her a long time to switch personalities, from what Roxas had gathered. He could tell days in advance when Xion was starting to emerge from under his sister's skin; her laugh would take on a higher pitch, her movements were a little more fluid. Plus she only came out when Alex started to feel more and more pressured by her surroundings.

The problem with Xion, though, was that she stayed for longer than a few days. Roxas didn't like being around her for too long, and was even a little cautious about going to see Alex today in case she was still Xion.

Another turn brought him to large room with high ceilings and lush furniture. Roxas groaned. He had passed this common room three times now and still hadn't found where the female dormitories were. Starting to think that maybe he should just wait until the other three returned, Roxas slunk over to the couch and collapsed on it. He tilted his head back until it rested on the high back.

It had been a week since they got here, Roxas thought again, and he was already steadily keeping up a routine of venturing to Axel's room during the night and even during the day when he just couldn't stay alone any longer.

Alone, Axel and Roxas would lean against one another or kiss gently; hold hands as they let their backs rest against the bed frame and listened to Axel's foreign music drift over their heads. Around Demyx and Zexion, though, Axel was a master at completely hiding what he and Roxas had between them. The first time Roxas had tried to brush hands with Axel in the common room, Axel had swiftly moved his own hand into his pocket to barricade Roxas from attempting it again. If Roxas tried to sit closer than usual to Axel on the couch, Axel would laugh and ruffle the blond's hair if the other two entered the room, pushing Roxas away as though they had both been joking around.

Zexion and Demyx, on the other hand, were open about their new relationship around the headquarters. Axel had told Roxas that he mostly suspected it was because of Demyx, and Roxas had to admit that he couldn't view Demyx as being very quiet about anything new in his life. If they hadn't been open about it, Demyx probably would have let it slip anyway.

Roxas looked at them with envy whenever Zexion shyly tugged at his boyfriend's shoulders to pull him against his chest or when Demyx laced his fingers with Zexion's; smiling as though he had just then remembered that it was okay for them to do that now. He didn't understand why Axel felt like they had to hide their new relationship- or whatever it was that went on between them.

All that Roxas knew was that he was starting to get sick of being the secret that was always kept hidden away.

"Cut it out, Demyx," Zexion whispered as he gently pushed Demyx away from him in the dark, "We're on a mission, we can't get distracted."

Axel chucked softly, "I agree, this really isn't the time or the place for getting it on."

Zexion felt his face grow heated and was thankful for the mask of night to cover it up. He would never think to tell Axel that he was asexual; the man would only go on about Zexion being a prude or some religiously celibate loser.

"Sorry," Demyx murmured and wrapped his arms around Zexion's waist, "I couldn't help it."

Axel skimmed through the file in his hands as the three lounged carelessly on the front lawn of the house in which they would venture momentarily. A thought like a small needle pricked at the back of his mind, reminding him of the mistake that had been in the last file he had received; the one about Roxas. He knew that he needed to talk to Zexion about it so that they could report it to someone higher up than them, but then Axel would also have to explain what he and Roxas had been doing alone.

Inside, Axel knew that Zexion and Demyx would not see a problem with him dating Roxas, the problem was that Axel had a delusional thought that speaking about it out loud would make it all more real; and making it real would just give it the opportunity to end the way all of Axel's relationships ended.

Which only reminded Axel that some day soon Roxas would have to begin training to become a Reaper. The idea made Axel feel miserable, because he knew that there was a very small chance that Roxas would survive.

"Hey!" Axel exclaimed as Zexion yanked the file out of his hands.

"We can't very well sit here in the dark all night," Zexion reasoned, flipping through the file, "We need to get moving some time tonight."

Axel noted the slightly unzipped collar of Zexion's sweatshirt and considered making a crack about how he would bet that they'd love to stay in the dark all night long, but decided against it. Every time he joked about their relationship, Demyx seemed typically pleased but Zexion looked uncomfortable and as though he wanted to spit something out but couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Zexion cleared his throat, bringing Axel back from his thoughts again. "It says in here that there are four children, ages twelve, nine, five, and two. The parents-"

"Let me guess first this time!" Demyx said happily, raising his voice a little then lowering it as Demyx put a finger to his lips, "The father is a drunk, and beats the mother and the kids have to see it every time they come home."

"Or," Axel began, always the more morbid guesser, "the father is just your typical, angry guy and the mother is the drunk. She doesn't pay any attention to the kids because she drinks to remove herself from the way her husband beats her and the kids."

Zexion shook his head, "This is an awful game that you two have started, but it doesn't matter because you're both wrong.

"The husband, Kevin Tylers, is a factory worker. Marie Tylers, the wife, is a stay-at-home mother and although she does drink, it isn't to block out the beatings she receives. Instead, it's the instigator for the beating."

"He beats her because she drinks?" Demyx asked, looking confused.

Zexion shook his head again. "She drinks, and then she beats the kids. She also beats her husband when he comes home from work."

Axel laughed, "What a man! Why doesn't he stick up for himself? I mean, he could probably take her!"

"Axel," Zexion rolled his eyes, "that's an awful thing to say. He loves her, it's the same as when a woman won't fight back against her husband. Spousal abuse goes both ways, women aren't as weak as some people would like to believe."

"Always the feminist, Zexion." Axel replied and stood, brushing the grass off his pants.

Demyx peered around the empty kitchen and glanced over his shoulder to see Axel and Zexion still working at the alarm system to get it permanently released, so that all three of them could get in and out of the house as they pleased.

He took in the single used wine glass on the counter, and carefully stepped over a large area of broken green glass. Demyx really hoped that the red specks trailing away from the mess was something other than blood; something that made him feel weak with nausea. He should be so lucky.

Quietly, Demyx tiptoed down the hall toward a staircase. He squirmed a little when he saw the smear of red on the banister, leading all the way up to the second floor. One step at a time, Demyx made his way up the stairs.

At the top of the staircase, Demyx nearly toppled over backward and down the stairs again as he caught sight of a thin arm lying half out of the closest door to him. There was no visible blood on the limb, Demyx reasoned with himself, maybe it was just the mother, maybe she had passed out on the floor on her way to bed.

But inside, Demyx knew that the arm was far too small to belong to a full-grown woman.

Axel left Zexion outside to work the alarm; a task at which he was less than useless. Instead, he moved swiftly through the screen door to the back mudroom without making a sound. Immediately, he knew that something was wrong.

Beer bottles littered the floor all around his feet. Axel kicked them aside, flinching slightly at the sudden noise but continuing on his way into the home. Upon opening the next door, he found himself standing in a lavish sitting room. The couches and chairs were printed with soft pink flowers and pastel coloured leaves. They looked as though they would swallow you if you were to sit in them.

On the table was an overturned cup of tea, the sugar and milk left undisturbed on a shining silver tray. The teacup was painted with the same sickeningly sweet flowers and a liquid poured over the dark wood table to the soft white carpet.

Axel turned away and ran a hand through his hair after he spied a tuft of hair sticking up over the back of the couch. After closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths, he approached the couch and turned the corpse's head toward him.

A pink tongue lolled out at the movement, and the man's dark eyes rolled upward. The man's face was painted with a blackened eye and a long streak of blood across one cheek. Axel pulled his hand away in silence and picked up the discarded teacup. One sniff led him to believe that it had been filled with bleach, and not tea. How would the man not have known?

Axel cocked his head to the side, "You would have, unless you meant for it to happen," he looked sideways to the dead body, "am I right?" He placed the teacup on the tray and stood. Walking to the kitchen, Axel shook his head. Why would someone choose this?

Demyx shut his eyes and slid across the wall toward the room with the arm sticking out. He didn't want to know what was in there, but he also knew that if he backed out he'd be reported and would probably have to undergo Reaper training all over again.

Taking a deep breath, Demyx turned around the door frame, carefully stepping over the small arm. He opened his eyes as he mentally steeled himself for the sight he was about to take in.

He found himself in a nursery. A crib was pushed against one wall and a mural of jungle animals was painted on the opposite one. A carpet patterned with the alphabet spread across the floor, leading right up to where the discarded arm of a life-sized toddler doll was tossed halfway out the room.

Demyx sighed with relief and leaned against the door frame. He didn't stop to consider why the nursery was empty of sleeping children at this time of the night, but instead glanced around the room, taking in all the jungle themed toys and paintings. He walked over to the crib and tapped the mobile until it spun in a slow circle. Wasn't two a little too old for a mobile? Demyx wondered.

Glancing down into the crib, Demyx froze. A pool of blood spread in a circle around the middle of the mattress. The sickened feeling flooded him again, and he doubled over as though he was about to vomit.

Falling to his knees, Demyx rested his forehead against the patch of hardwood that stuck out from under the carpet. He breathed heavily, trying to gain control of his gag reflex. Turning his head to the side, Demyx could peer right under the crib.

Staring back at him were the lifeless eyes of a male child. Demyx scrambled away from the crib, keeping his horrified stare locked with that of the two year old he had now found. He leaped to his feet and backed quickly out of the room, bumping into the doorway and yelped as he backed into someone in the hall.

"Quiet," Axel hissed, clamping a hand over the other man's mouth, "Show me where it is."

Demyx shook his head and started sobbing hysterically. He pointed toward the crib and fell back against Axel's chest, shuddering hard with every breath. Axel made a calming noise and turned as he heard footsteps racing up the stairs.

"I heard-" Zexion paused as he saw Axel embracing Demyx. Axel gently handed the shaking Reaper to Zexion.

"He found one of them," Axel explained before venturing into the room.

Axel shut the door behind him and glanced under the crib at the small child that Demyx had stumbled upon. He shook his head sadly and pulled it out. It looked like it had been suffocated. He placed it back in the crib and walked over to the closet.

He pulled the door open and turned his head as the smell of blood hit him like a wave. Three bodies were piled in the small closet; the rest of the children. Axel shut the door again. Their mission was over; they had been too late.

As he let himself out of the room, Axel squeezed Zexion's shoulder as the smaller man held Demyx. Axel shook his head, and Zexion nodded in understanding before gently ushering Demyx downstairs.

Axel continued to search the upstairs, having a relatively good idea of where the mother was. Sure enough, when he stopped outside another door, he felt the carpet was soaked with water and that there were taps still on inside the room.

In the bathroom, Axel found the mother dead in the bathtub. The water was still running, and Axel nearly slipped on the soaked floor. The woman's dead eyes were staring up at the ceiling and her wrists had been slit.

Axel leaned against the counter and pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. He filled it out quickly, then searched around for a lighter. He found one in the master bedroom, and also found himself sitting on the bed and rereading what he had wrote.

_"Upon searching the household, the Reapers find that the four children had been murdered by the mother, who then killed herself. When the father returned home after work, he also committed suicide upon finding his family dead."_

His higher ups liked the notes to be brief but intelligent. Axel shook his head and lit the page on fire, trusting that the smoke would carry the message to whomever it concerned.


	7. Chapter 7

Roxas felt a light hand settle on his shoulder and then the muffled sensation of waking up. His eyes still closed, he breathed in deeply. He knew Axel by scent, and if he had been awake when the man had arrived at the headquarters, Roxas would have known Axel by the sound of his footsteps.

"Hey, I know you're awake, dummy." Axel nuzzled into the boy's neck, his lips sending half-conscious shivers down Roxas's spine.

"How did you know?" Roxas arched his back and felt his bone crack with the sudden stretch. Axel brought his head up and shuddered as Roxas cracked his wrists and fingers, knowing full well that that was one of the few noises that drove Axel crazy.

Axel caught his wrists and pushed them against the arm rest of the couch Roxas had been dozing on. "You started grinning the moment I touched you!"

Roxas stuck out his tongue and tried to fight against Axel's hands, but the larger man had a less playful expression now. Axel bent forward to kiss Roxas, one leg swinging over so that he was suddenly sitting on Roxas's hips.

He broke the kiss as Axel's teeth came down on his lower lip with a gasp and twisted his head so that he was staring at the doorway with half-lidded eyes. Axel started kissing down his neck, pausing only to nip at the boy's collar bone.

"I can't believe that mission put you in a mood, Axel. Whatever gets you going, I suppose."

Axel rolled smoothly off of Roxas so that he was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. He squinted up at Zexion and cocked his head to the side, and although Roxas could only see the red spikes at the back of Axel's head, he could picture the lopsided smile on the man's face.

"Just trying to forget what we saw, Zexion." Roxas didn't understand what they were talking about, in fact he didn't even understand why there was always a sarcastic undertone to their conversations whenever Axel's love life was brought into question.

"Actually," Roxas said, still staring at the back of Axel's head, "This has been going on for a while, Zexion." Axel whipped his head around to shoot a silencing look at Roxas, who only raised an eyebrow and gave a small grin.

Zexion shrugged, "Demyx and I noticed something was up, we're not incompetent."

"You've only been here for a week, Roxas." Axel stood and brushed off his pants, "That's not exactly 'a while', and I don't know what you think has been going on between us, but it's nothing serious."

Roxas sat up slowly, stung. Zexion looked down at his feet, embarrassed at finding himself in another couple's argument, and Axel turned toward Roxas before leaning forward and tapping two fingers to his temple.

"Don't just assume you understand everything, kid." Roxas watched as Axel left the room with his hands casually stored in his pockets. Looking sideways at the shoulder where Axel had touched him before, he noticed a soft streak of red on the fabric.

Axel returned to his room and removed his hands from his pockets. Before looking at them, Axel flicked on the radio beside his bed. A soft song carried through the room, which made Axel realize that he really just wanted a loud and angry song.

He fished his iPod out of the bedside drawer and stared at it in the palm of his bloodied hand. The other hand was lying back-up on the bed, but Axel knew the same cuts would be drawn in on that one.

The razor was still discarded on his desk from when the Reapers had first arrived from the mission, and Axel took a moment to appreciate that Roxas didn't seem like the type to just snoop through someone's belongings. He was sure that the butchered shaving razor in someone's drawer would raise some questions; especially the one of why there was a blade missing.

Axel had never wanted to start self-harm, but after his very first mission (which had ended similarly to this last one), he had found no other way to handle all the emotions that he had felt. Guilt that he had not arrived soon enough to put a stop to the deaths, fear that he would fail more people in this way, and the amazement that this could have happened to him, Zexion, or Demyx if they had not been rescued.

The cuts ran along all the lines on his palm, though there were a few that Axel had etched in himself as scars. His favourite was the line that stretched from his thumb, the one that palm-readers would refer to as his lifeline, which he had extended with scars. If you could choose a favourite outcome from the habit you hated, that is.

Axel considered picking up his razor again as he winced at the thought of what he had said to Roxas. Half of him was sickeningly pleased with himself for saying it. He had been angry that Roxas had told Zexion without taking Axel's feelings into consideration, but mostly it just made him sick to think that Roxas thought this was a committed relationship or something. Axel's mind twisted to the thought that Roxas would be going through Reaper training soon, and he curled forward so that his head rested on his knees. It was a thought he couldn't handle.

"What the fuck was that about?" Roxas threw the door open, and Axel didn't flinch as it hit the wall. He could picture the crater the knob would leave in the plaster, but simply let out a breath and sat up slowly.

He grinned a little, "Angry, babe?" Roxas scoffed at the easygoing tone and kicked over a stack of CD's that were near the doorway. Axel stood after one case hit his leg hard, and approached Roxas in order to close the door behind him. When he got closer, Roxas stiffened and took a step back.

"What am I to you?"

Axel pushed Roxas gently to the side and slammed the door shut. He sighed, and found himself walking over to lean against his desk, hopefully hiding the razor from the boy's view. "How am I supposed to answer that?" Axel ran a hand through his hair, "How do I see you? As a danger, a threat, a hindrance. I don't know."

Roxas stared at Axel, taken aback. "A danger? A threat? What is that supposed to mean?" Axel shrugged off the demanding words and stuffed his hands into his pockets again.

"Show me them."

Axel raised an eyebrow, "You're not one to be making commands, kid."

Roxas stepped closer to Axel and raised his voice, "The kids were dead. Zexion told me, even though you told me it was all top-secret. Is it their blood on your hands?" Axel felt himself forming the word no, but inwardly knew that technically, it was definitely their blood on his hands.

Fingers brushed his wrists as Roxas darted forward and attempted to pry Axel's hands from his pockets. Suddenly, Axel was up and pushing Roxas against the wall. The smaller boy pushed against Axel's hands, but felt the man's weight pressing against his wrists to a point where it was useless to try and fight back.

"A danger because I don't know what can happen between us, a threat because I'd do anything to protect you." Axel scowled and put more weight on Roxas's hands, "Your father is dead, Roxas. We're not supposed to hurt the people who do these things, but I made that exception the night we got you and your sister. And that was when I didn't even know you.

"And a hindrance? Because I look at those kids tonight and instead of feeling beaten because I couldn't save them, I feel thankful because that didn't happen to you."

Axel let the hands go and stormed to his bed. Roxas rubbed his wrists, but never took his eyes off of Axel. The man's hand flew out and knocked over a lamp. He growled and spun back around to face Roxas with his palms facing up.

"It's my blood, but it may as well be theirs."

Roxas reached out and ran a finger down the longest cut. He gulped before grabbing Axel's wrist and pulled himself closer to the man. Roxas thought of the blood on Axel's hands, how some of it would be his father's, but was surprised to find that he couldn't care. Axel let out a heavy breath and Roxas was surprised to see that the man was crying.

"I'm not the person I should be," Axel said softly, pulling his hand back. "I'm not a good person, and I deserve whatever comes my way."

Roxas brought his arms up and around Axel's neck, bringing him closer before kissing him. Axel breathed out his nose and wrapped his hands around the boy's waist. Roxas pulled his mouth away and his hands down to Axel's chest.

"This isn't serious?"

Axel laughed lightly, "It's more serious than I can handle, to be honest."

Zexion walked into the kitchen to find Demyx sitting on the counter beside the fridge, his eyes closed and his head leaning against the appliance. He crossed his arms and took in the sight, wondering how to go about making it better.

"I know you're there." Demyx muttered, his eyes still shut.

Zexion smiled gently, "I'm not going anywhere, I was just thinking." He walked over and hoisted himself up onto the counter beside Demyx, "Still feeling unwell?"

Demyx rolled his head to face Zexion with disbelief in his eyes, "I found a dead child stuffed under his bed. Yeah, I'm still feeling unwell." Zexion leaned against Demyx, placing his head on his shoulder. Demyx rested his head on top of Zexion's with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

Zexion reached up and stroked the man's head, "Don't apologize, Demyx. There's no need to." Zexion heard a growl and realized that Demyx had probably been in the kitchen to find food before he had just shut down after a traumatizing night. He untwisted himself from the other body and jumped down.

"Let me make you something to eat." He opened the fridge, but Demyx was rapidly shaking his head.

"I'm not hungry."

Zexion raised an eyebrow, closing the fridge. "What are you talking about? I just heard your stomach growl, I know that you're hungry." He grabbed a glass and filled it with water before handing it to Demyx, "At least drink something. Please, for me?"

Demyx drained the glass and set it beside him on the counter before resting his head against the fridge again. Zexion walked up and in-between his legs before leaning his own head in the same position. Demyx opened his eyes and looked down at Zexion, squeezing his knees against the man's hips with a sad smile perking up the corners of his mouth. Zexion stood on his toes and kissed Demyx, liking the feeling of his legs around him.

Demyx jumped back suddenly, surprising Zexion so that he leaped away as well. "I'm so sorry, I know that you're ace, I know that isn't what you want." Demyx flushed and bowed his head.

Zexion looked confused as he stepped forward again, "Demyx, I'm asexual because I don't want sex. Kissing my," his voice softened a little, "boyfriend, and comforting him after an extremely troubling night isn't sex." Settling back into the position he had been in before Demyx had spooked, Zexion smiled carefully.

"In fact, I love doing those things. I wish I didn't have to comfort you, but that's because I wish you didn't need to be comforted." Zexion kissed Demyx on the corner of his mouth and pulled him closer.

Demyx kissed Zexion back and pulled him closer. "I'm sorry," he whispered when they pulled away, "I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I just don't know where you draw the line."

Zexion shrugged, "I don't really know either; I've never been in the position to draw a line." Demyx nodded, and ran his hands down Zexion's arms to wrap his fingers around Zexion's hands. Zexion smiled again and hugged the other man, feeling happy that he had been able to be a rock when Demyx needed it, but also feeling the same joy that Demyx had still cared enough to not test Zexion's boundaries.

"I came to find you," Zexion remembered, "Because Axel and Roxas just got into a fight. Axel said some mean things, and I thought maybe Roxas would like to talk to you." Zexion felt close to Roxas as much as Demyx did, but also knew that Demyx would be better at talking Roxas through an emotional time, whereas Zexion would be better suited to help Axel.

Demyx cocked his head to the side, "Lover's quarrel?"

Zexion grinned slightly, "Nothing serious, in Axel's words. Which he said in front of Roxas, right after he blurted out that they had been messing around to me without Axel's go-ahead."

"Yikes," Demyx hissed, "I wouldn't want to deal with Axel after a situation like that. Thanks for leaving me Roxas!" They smiled at each other, and Zexion stepped back to give Demyx space to jump down. With his feet on the floor, Demyx placed his hand on the small of Zexion's back and brought him forward to kiss his cheek.

Zexion closed his eyes and relished the feeling of someone's touch on his skin. Demyx patted Zexion's rump twice and started walking away, intending for them both to go and talk their friends out of this fight. They grinned at each other once more as they left the kitchen and parted ways, both feeling much happier than they had before entering the room.

Roxas sighed as Axel sucked at his neck and tilted his head back until it hit the wall behind him. Axel's hands started to run up his shirt, and Roxas could feel himself growing tense with anticipation and nerves.

Someone knocked on the door, and Roxas felt a warm puff of air hit his skin as Axel breathed out of his nose in frustration.

"Axel?" Zexion called out, just as Roxas felt Axel bite down on his ear and let out a soft whimper. Axel chuckled lowly and rolled off of Roxas to stand outside the door. He smiled as he heard Demyx approach Zexion in the hall.

"Roxas wasn't in his room."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I heard him in here."

"Guess they made up alright without us, huh?"

"Apparently. Axel must have been biting the kid or something, from what I heard. Now, though, he's standing outside the door listening to us." Roxas nearly laughed out loud at Axel's bewildered look. Axel put a finger to his lips and tiptoed back to bed.

Zexion knocked again as Axel kissed Roxas on the mouth, "Come on, Roxas. We thought you might want to see Alex today, now that we're back." Axel fell off the bed as Roxas jumped up from underneath him, already throwing the door open before Axel had righted himself.

"Let's go, let's go!" Roxas cried, running back to help Axel up. "I tried to find her while you were all gone but I got lost!"

"Why don't you leave a trial of breadcrumbs this time around?" Axel grumbled, smoothing his hair back as he stared at the purple mark that now stained the collar of the boy he was quickly falling for. Zexion caught his gaze and nudged Demyx to nod at the hickey. Demyx laughed and ruffled the young boy's hair before taking his arm and leading him down the hall.

"Nothing serious?" Zexion enquired, falling into step with Axel as they followed the other two toward the female dormitories. Axel rolled his eyes and watched as Roxas smiled with Demyx, wondering how he could be so happy to just be seeing his sister. Never having a family to care for, Axel didn't understand the bond that could exist.

"You sound just like him."

"You make that sound like a bad thing, Axel."

Axel shrugged. "Maybe it is," he looked away from Roxas to stare at the wall. "I don't know what this is supposed to be. Who even knows how much longer he'll be with us." Zexion nodded slowly, thinking back to his own Reaper testing.

"Well," he said, looking hard at the red-headed male, "I think that you should hold on tight to that kid. Fight for him. Because I haven't experienced you being this happy in a very long time." Axel snorted and shoved Zexion back as he picked up his pace to catch up with Roxas and Demyx.

Zexion stood for a moment, watching as Axel cut between Demyx and Roxas and started laughing with them about some inaudible joke. Axel, he thought to himself, may have never been this happy in his entire life.


	8. Chapter 8

Roxas looked to the three Reapers behind him for nods of approval before carefully pushing open the double doors that connected the main halls of the headquarters to the female dormitories. Inside, he knew, could be either the impersonating and violent girl of his nightmares, or the frightened and confused sister of his childhood.

Watching them walk through the doors, Roxas noticed Axel stiffen upon entering the place where Alex, then Xion, had first attacked him. Under other circumstances, Roxas probably would have chuckled, but now could only find himself wondering where Alex could be hiding.

The dorms were in the same ruins that they had been in when he and Axel had attempted to visit Alex the last time. Blood was on the walls where Xion had been dragging her bitten fingers and holes were still in all the walls from her kicks and punches. Roxas looked at the disarray, trying to remember if it had been quite as bad the last time or if she had gone berserk since then.

"Where do you think she is?" Axel whispered, making sure to remain behind the rest of the group. Roxas shook his head; he really didn't know what Axel expected him to say, because Roxas had never ventured further than this hallway.

Zexion nodded to the first door on the right. "The bedrooms are all down that way, she may be in one of them." Roxas opened the door and started down that hall when they heard a soft intake of breath from behind them.

Alex had gasped and was pressed against the opposite wall, the door that had been on the left gaping open and revealing a common room that was very much like the one Roxas had grown used to in the other half of the house. She was staring at Axel, her hands shaking as they grasped at the wall behind her.

Roxas ran forward and threw his arms around her. He wrapped them tightly around her shoulders, not knowing entirely whether he was hugging her out of affection or to restrain her. She stared over his shoulder at Axel, not breaking the gaze for long enough to lift her arms and return the embrace.

He pulled away and turned her face to look at him. Roxas patted her cheek. "Come on, Alex. Snap out of it! Didn't you miss me?"

Alex frowned, "Roxas, where are we?"

"We were rescued, Alex! These guys rescued us from him, we don't ever have to go back!" Roxas smiled and shook her shoulders, "We're safe now!" Alex started to grin along with her brother, but glanced up at the Reapers again with narrowed eyes and the same frown.

"Maybe we should go," Demyx whispered to Zexion. Zexion nodded, and the two started to leave the female dormitories.

"We can't!" Axel exclaimed, "She's not stable, she attacked me last time we were here! We can't leave Roxas alone with her."

Zexion placed a hand on Axel's shoulder. "Axel, Roxas was alone with her for years before we rescued them. They survived that together, when she was probably switching personalities on a daily basis. They'll be okay."

Roxas looked around at them, "You can't leave! Axel, I was Alex to meet you!"

Alex shook her head and pressed tighter against the wall. She was wide eyed with what seemed to be terror, and her entire body trembled with the tenseness that entirely consumed her. Roxas looked back and forth between his sister and Axel, conflicted.

"But Alex," Roxas said calmly, brushing his sister's hair back from her face. "Alex, Axel is a big part of my life right now. He saved us, and he's been helping me since we got here.

"We even tried to help you, but you weren't... yourself."

Alex nodded slowly, "I was Xion. I remember that. And I remember him... but not from then." She stared at Axel until he ducked his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Roxas cocked his head to the side and joined his sister's stares. Where could she have possibly met Axel before they had been rescued?

Demyx and Zexion walked back to the other side of the headquarters in complete silence. Demyx was aware of his hands itching to hold Zexion's, but kept the contact deep inside himself until they were far away.

"She's an odd one." Zexion stated bluntly when they reached the common room.

Demyx let out a laugh, "That's an understatement if I ever heard one." Zexion grinned, thankful that they had broken the tension as he collapsed onto the couch. Demyx threw himself on it as well and rested his head in Zexion's lap.

"What do you think we'll do with her?" Demyx asked, staring up at the ceiling.

Zexion shrugged, "What do you mean?"

"Well she's obviously not stable enough to go through the Reaper training, so what do we do in that case? I mean, sending her to training would be a death sentence."

"It's a death sentence if you're stable," Zexion laughed humorlessly. "To be honest, I don't really know what we'll do with her. It's entirely possible that she'll still be asked to do the training at the required time, because we've never had a case like this before."

Demyx was quiet. When Zexion put a hand on the other man's head to try and reassure him, Demyx shook it off. They fell into another silence, Demyx feeling the soft twitch of Zexion's legs beneath his head.

"It'll kill Axel."

Zexion didn't reply, only closed his eyes. It really would kill Axel. They had never seen the man so happy as he was when he was with Roxas, the way he smiled without hesitation and how he waved his hands while he talked, as though he for once actually enjoyed having a conversation.

Demyx twisted around so he could see Zexion, "Why do they have to go through the training? Don't they have a choice?"

"The higher-ups seem to think if they aren't Reapers, they're a threat to our cause." Zexion shook his head, "They wouldn't have a place in the headquarters, so they'd have to go to the outside, where we're known as kidnappers and murderers. We'd be in danger if we let them go."

Demyx frowned, "Zexion, is what we do right?"

Zexion thought carefully about the question. He thought of the grudge Roxas had originally had against them, and how he had spoken about his father as thought he had loved the man; which he had at one point. Roxas had been quick to defend that his father hadn't always been bad, then.

"It depends, I suppose."

"On what?" Demyx laid back again and let his arm fall over the side of the couch to the ground.

"On whether it's better to be forced to do something against your will forever, or to be rescued against your will as well."

Zexion considered his own words, wondering if he really believed them. He had always been grateful that he had been rescued, but then again he had willingly entered the prostitution business in order to feed his family.

"But we're rescuing them just to lead them to death," Demyx sighed, draping his other arm over his eyes, "They don't stand a chance." He remembered on the rooftop, when Roxas had pointed out that he and his sister had never asked to be rescued.

Did you have to ask for it in order to appreciate it?


End file.
